


so runs my dream

by coloredink



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 00:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coloredink/pseuds/coloredink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<i>Zack</i>," he said, his heart lodged in his throat.  "Is it really you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	so runs my dream

There was a man in the church.

He was kneeling by the pool of flowers, head bowed, weeding or watering or maybe just talking to them, Cloud didn't know. He thought it was a ghost, like the way he'd spot a flash of pink ribbon out of the corner of his eye, or how sometimes a brown braid would whip out of sight as soon as he set his boot on the dusty wooden planks. Then the man looked up, and his eyes were so blue, and Cloud's feet carried him pounding down the aisle until he skidded to a stop practically on his knees. He seized the man by the biceps, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry or punch him. " _Zack_ ," he said, his heart lodged in his throat. "Is it really you?"

Zack blinked, slow and startled, and finally said, "Yes?" And then, almost apologetically, he added, "Who are you?"

Cloud's breath stuck, choked. "It's me! Cloud! Don't you remember, we, in Nibelheim--"

"Oh!" Zack's eyes widened. "Nibelheim!" And just as Cloud felt hopeful, Zack's eyes rolled up in his head and he slumped into the flowers.

\-----

"Welcome ba--" Tifa looked up and froze, one hand still clutching a rag. Cloud paused in the doorway, where he had Zack slung over both shoulders the way Shinra had taught him. The other customers glanced up, then went back to nursing their drinks, or in the case of at least one customer, wolfing down a bowl of rice. Even after Meteor, slum folk were still good at minding their own business.

"It's Zack," said Cloud, trying not to let his voice get too high. "Can I take him upstairs?"

"Yes!" The word came out all in a rush, as if there was more that Tifa wanted to say, or as if she'd been holding her breath. She twisted the rag in both hands. "Do you--do you need help?"

Cloud already had one foot on the stairs. "No, I got it."

Final Heaven didn't have a secret basement for terrorist meetings or a little girl behind the bar mixing cocktails. It just had an upstairs, where Cloud and Tifa slept and ate their meals and listened to the radio, and a downstairs, where Tifa ran the bar and cooked curry like customers remembered their mothers making. It was a place where people came to forget that Meteor had ruined everything, and they had an extra bed upstairs in case someone forgot a little too much and had nowhere else to go.

Cloud put Zack in this bed now, and then didn't know what else to do. Should he cover Zack with a blanket? Should he stay? Should he leave? What if Zack woke up and needed something? Why didn't Zack remember anything? Cloud ran both hands through his hair. This was his fault. If he had--if he had _noticed_ , if he hadn't just _left_ \--

He really wanted Zack to wake up and be okay.

"Is it really Zack?"

He turned, startled, and saw Tifa standing in the doorway, one hand up against the doorframe, looking at Zack with a tiny line between her eyebrows. Zack lay on the bed with one arm across his chest and the other flung out to the side. He was smaller than Cloud remembered, under all the layers of ill-fitting clothing, and thinner, his arms especially. His hair had been cut badly, so that it was short and ragged, and he had several months' growth of beard. Cloud might not have recognized him at all if it hadn't been for those mako-bright eyes. "Yeah," he said.

Tifa sighed. "At least take off his shoes." She knelt by the foot of the bed and unlaced first one sneaker, then the other. The sole was coming off of the left one. She left them by the doorway and rearranged him on the bed, with the blanket over him. Cloud was struck by the way her hair fell over her shoulder as she did that, and how her hands smoothed the dark blue blanket, and wanted to tell her how much he loved her.

"What happened?" asked Tifa.

"I don't know," said Cloud. "I found him in A--in the church. I thought--he was--he didn't remember who I was. And when I mentioned Nibelheim, he suddenly--" Cloud gestured.

Tifa's lips tightened and Cloud was suddenly aware of how tired she looked. "I need to get back to the bar," she said, after a prolonged silence. "Let me know when he wakes up." She looked at Cloud, opened her mouth to say something else, then apparently thought better of it. She gave Zack one final glance, and then clattered down the stairs.

Cloud sighed and dragged a chair over by the bed.

\-----

Zack groaned, sudden and loud after the silence of who knew how many minutes, startling Cloud out of his reverie. He sat up straight as Zack opened his eyes. "Zack?" he said, hopefully. "It's me. Cloud."

"Mhuh. Yeah. Cloud. From Nibelheim." Zack smiled gently, fondly, like an older brother, and stared into the ceiling. He rubbed one hand across his face.

Cloud took a deep, trembling breath. "I thought you were _dead_."

"Well, I'm not." Zack turned his head in Cloud's direction, but Cloud couldn't shake the feeling Zack didn't see him. "Where's Aerith?"

"Aerith?" A chill snaked up Cloud's spine.

"Yeah. You know her? Nice girl, lives in a church in the slums. I'm supposed to help her build a flower wagon. So she can sell flowers." Zack splayed his palm out toward the ceiling. "I call it 'Operation Midgar Full of Flowers, Wallet Full of Money.'"

Cloud had to laugh at that, even though he had no idea what Zack meant. It eased the clenching in his gut, just a little. "How did you know Aerith?"

Zack let the hand fall back to his chest. Cloud realized with a jolt of horror like a goblin punch to the face that he was missing his two smallest fingers. "Fell out of the sky. Landed on the flowers. I was having a bad day," he added, almost as an afterthought.

 _Just the same as him_. Sitting on top of the slide in Sector 6, just after introducing himself as SOLDIER, First Class. _My first boyfriend._ There weren't that many First Class SOLDIERs. Why had he never realized?

 _I probably knew him. What was his name?_

 _It doesn't really matter_.

"Cloud!" Tifa had a bowl of something on a tray. "I told you to tell me when he woke up!"

"I was just going to," Cloud said. His voice didn't shake.

Tifa felt Zack's forehead and tsked. Zack looked up at her like he was trying to remember where he'd left his cell phone, and it was suddenly very important that Zack didn't ask.

"Tifa," said Cloud. "Can I talk to you?"

She glanced over her shoulder at Cloud. "Be careful, it's hot," she warned as Zack struggled upright, all but wagging his tail at the sight of a bowl of soup. It was steaming, but Zack wasted no time in picking up his spoon.

"He asked about Aerith," Cloud said, once the door had closed behind them. Behind it, Zack gave a muffled yelp.

Tifa's eyebrows shot up. "Aerith? Did they know each other?"

"Apparently." Cloud glanced at the door. "He was saying something about a flower wagon. . . I don't think he remembers anything about Nibelheim. He remembers me, but not you, and. . ." Cloud spread his hands in a helpless gesture. "What should I do? I don't know if I should tell him, or if he should remember. . ."

"He should remember." Tifa stood with her head bowed, her arms crossed under her breasts, over the ugly, twisted scar. "You should tell him."

Cloud bit his lip. "Are you sure?"

Tifa looked up at him then, serious and fierce. "I'm sure."

\-----

Zack insisted on shaving himself, though Cloud could see that he had trouble moving his right arm, the one that was missing two fingers. He handled the razor with remarkable dexterity left-handed, though the number of sticking-plasters on his face afterward was comical. Shaved, showered, and dressed in some of Cloud's clothes, he looked heartbreakingly normal, so that it was all Cloud could do not to hug Zack and beg him to forgive him his ignorance and his trespasses.

But all Zack could think about was the church. "What if Aerith comes while I'm gone?" he asked, while Cloud tried to persuade him into the shower. "I promised her about the flower wagon."

"She left Midgar." Cloud tried not to stare at the scars that peppered Zack from head to toe, the craters of his chest and back. Some of them were dusted with silver from materia healing.

Zack's eyes widened. "No way. She's afraid of the sky!"

Tifa paused on her way to the laundry with a load of Zack's clothes. "She's what?"

"She's always lived under the plate," Zack explained, like a small child demonstrating the finer rules of a card game. "I said I'd take her to see the sky. . . later." He shook his head. "She wouldn't have left Midgar. Where would she go?"

Cloud had no answer for him, though he managed to convince Zack that Aerith would prefer him clean. He ignored the look that Tifa gave him.

After the shower, Zack asked about the church again. Cloud said he'd take him there.

\-----

There were children in the church once. They'd become half-familiar to Cloud; he didn't know their names, but he knew their faces, and they his. Then Reeve had evacuated everyone from the slums that he could, and the sky fell, and the children no longer came.

It was amazing that the church had survived at all. In some ways, it had flourished; pieces of the plate above had broken off, raining more light onto what had once been the Sector Six slums, and one wall of the church itself had crumbled away. The flowers had proliferated. Cloud could almost believe that given time, the floor of the whole church would be covered in flowers, and then, maybe, all of the slums.

"'Midgar Full of Flowers, Wallet Full of Money?'" said Cloud.

"Yup." Zack crouched down by the flowers, combing his fingers through them like he was petting a dog.

Cloud squatted down next to him. "I bought a flower from her once."

"Really?" Zack's smile hurt to look at. "How much did she charge?"

Cloud shrugged. "Hard to remember. One gil?"

Zack made a _pfffft_ sound. "Well, it's a start."

They sat in a not entirely comfortable silence. Cloud rearranged himself so that he was cross-legged and picked at the blades of grass that wiggled up here and there. It was hard not to think about Aerith. _You were. . . serious?_

 _No. But I liked him for a while._

Zack seemed serious, or as serious as he ever got about anything. Was this what he did--what he'd done--day after day? Sit in this church, waiting for her? Cloud wondered about the children. If he'd asked them, would they have told him about the funny SOLDIER man? His fingers tightened around a few blades of grass, uprooting them. If she'd told him his name, would it have changed things?

"Hey, take it easy there," said Zack.

"Aerith is dead," Cloud blurted out.

Zack's hand froze partway toward Cloud's. "What?"

Cloud left the poor flora alone and clutched the tips of his boots instead. He stared at the flowers and concentrated on keeping his voice even. "She's dead."

" _Stop it_."

That flat, hard voice startled Cloud into looking up. There was a weird, desperate focus in Zack's eyes, and for a moment it was like he was that First Class SOLDIER again, the one that Cloud had so admired.

"She's not dead," Zack said. "She can't be dead." He pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them.

"She _is_ ," Cloud insisted, not certain why Zack needed to understand this, but feeling that it was true. "Sephiroth--"

Zack let out a cry from between gritted teeth, like the sound he used to make when something screwed up his rhythm during squats, or just before he swung his sword at a closing circle of monsters. He clutched his head with both hands and bared his teeth. "S-ss-Sephiroth! Wh-what does h-he have to d-d-do w-with this?! N-n-nnn-no! F-finish him!" He sounded genuinely angry and almost frantic. Cloud didn't know what to do, but he didn't have to, because suddenly Zack went limp.

\-----

Tifa wasn't surprised when Cloud turned up with Zack over his shoulders again, and she didn't follow him upstairs. This time, Cloud was the one to take off Zack's shoes and cover him with a blanket. Then he went back downstairs to help Tifa with the dinner rush, and the rush after that, though part of him stayed upstairs. One or the other would check on him, throughout the night, but Zack was always out cold. Tifa put out the lights, and Zack was still silent. They got into bed, and Zack breathed in the other room.

Cloud waited until it was dark, when the warmth of both their bodies had pooled beneath the covers, to ask. "How did you do it?"

Tifa responded with two long, even breaths, and Cloud thought that maybe he should have been more clear, or that maybe she didn't want to talk about it. Then she said, "Well. . . we fell into the Lifestream."

"And when we were in the Lifestream, it was like. . . I was in your head." Tifa shifted under the covers, rolling toward him. "And I was able to talk to you. The real you. It's hard to explain."

Cloud reached out, blindly, until his fingers felt skin, and he curved them against her warm side. "Thank you."

\-----

"But I have to get to the church," Zack protested. "Aerith is waiting for me."

"She can wait one more day," Cloud assured him. "It's not far."

Cloud took the motorcycle Juliet, with Zack in the sidecar. It was easier to get in and out of Midgar these days; within minutes they were pounding through miles of dusty wasteland. Zack hummed snatches of made-up tunes and old pop hits, and pointed out features in the passing landscape, yelling to make himself heard over the growl of the engine. Cloud said almost nothing. His stomach hurt.

They reached the ridge before noon, but had to climb the rest of the way. It wasn't very steep, with plenty of flat spots, easy enough for even Zack. The peak was unremarkable, bare and gray, with only a splendid view of Midgar spread out below to recommend it. At the edge nearest the city was an enormous sword, as tall as a man and nearly as wide, thrust into the ground like a banner.

Zack went still.

Cloud swallowed around the lump in his throat. "We're here."

Zack went up to the sword and touched the hilt with tentative fingers. He wrapped his hand around it--his left hand--as if to pull it out. "You made it," he said, as full of wonder as a child witnessing a miracle.

"Yes." Cloud didn't want to say any more, for fear his voice would crack.

"I'm glad." Zack bowed his head against the guard. "I never managed to save anyone else."

\-----

They sat in the lee of the sword, their backs to the blade, while the sun crested and began its slow descent. Cloud had his knees drawn up against his chest; Zack, his legs stretched out straight in front of him.

"I can't believe you don't hate me," Cloud mumbled.

Zack's eyes were closed, his head tilted back to catch the sun. "Why would I hate you?"

"I _left you_." Cloud buried his head in his arms. "I let Aerith _die_."

"Mmmm. I guess I'm pretty pissed at you about Aerith." Zack pressed one hand over his eyes. He sniffed, once, then let that hand fall. He opened his eyes and looked away, to the crumbling edifice that was Midgar.

"She mentioned you," Cloud said, suddenly. Zack looked back at him. "When we first met. I told her I was First Class, and she said, Just like him."

"Me?" said Zack.

"She said you were her first boyfriend." Cloud hugged his knees. "She wouldn't tell me your name, though."

"Huh." Zack leaned back on his arms and looked up at the sky.

\-----

They were back in Midgar an hour after sunset. Before, the city would have glowed green, turning the sky a sickly bruised color, but now most of the city still didn't have electricity. Any glow now was cast by the feeble light of candles and oil lamps, and as a result the sky was filled with the crushing weight of stars that reminded one of home. Cloud sped carefully through the streets to Final Heaven, and when he got there, Tifa was out front, at the top of the stairs that led to the door.

She knew, somehow. Maybe it was in the way Zack leapt out of the sidecar with a shadow of his old grace and confidence, or maybe it was just evident in his eyes. She leaned against the railing and smiled. "Welcome back."

"Hey." Zack raised a hand in greeting as he mounted the stairs. Cloud wheeled Juliet around the side of the building, to the garage.

No sooner had Zack reached the top than Tifa flung her arms around him in a hug, burying her face against his shoulder. "Thank you."

Zack's hands wobbled before finally settling gingerly against her shoulderblades. "You're. . . welcome? What for?"

"For saving Cloud." She pulled away and looked up at him with bright eyes. "I always--I always wished I could thank you."

"Ah. Well." Zack rubbed the back of his head with his left hand. "I just started the job. You finished it."

\-----

"Looks like things worked out well for you," said Zack, one arm up on the bar, watching Tifa move around extinguishing lamps. Tonight was an early night for Final Heaven. Owner's prerogative, she'd said as she threw everyone out. Special occasion.

"Yeah." Cloud smiled down into his mug.

Zack drained his cup and set it down against the bar with a sharp _tap_. "Well, I'll be out of your hair soon enough."

Cloud's head snapped up. "You're leaving?"

"Well, yeah." Zack stretched his back popping. "No reason to stay, is there?"

"Where are you going to go?" Cloud asked.

"Mmmm." Zack stared off into the distance, his face growing serious. "The City of the Ancients, probably." At Cloud's raised eyebrows, he went on, "I owe her a lot, you know. She waited. . . a long time." He traced the grain of the bar with a finger. "And then I'll probably go home. To Gongaga."

"Yeah," said Cloud, feeling a little numb. "Your parents will be glad to see you."

"Stay." Tifa set a lantern down firmly on the bar. It was nearly dark now, save for the light by Zack's elbow and another in Tifa's hand, but Zack's eyes were luminous in the darkness, as were Cloud's. "As long as you need to."

After a moment, Zack picked up the handle of the lantern. "Okay."

\-----

Zack wasn't in his room. He wasn't in the sitting room, listening to the radio. He wasn't in the kitchen. He wasn't behind the bar with Tifa, or sitting at one of the tables. Nor was he outside, playing with the neighborhood children. Juliet was still in the garage. Tifa hadn't seen him. Cloud wasn't worried. He set off for Sector Six.

He found Zack sitting on the floor of the church, trying to nail together two pieces of wood. "What're you doing?" he asked, squatting down next to him.

"Building a flower wagon," said Zack. He gave Cloud a brief smile. "I keep my promises."

Cloud nodded. He watched Zack struggle to wield the hammer left-handed. "Need any help?"

Zack blew a sigh of resignation. "Please."

It was a little difficult, without instructions--who knew something like a cart was so complicated and required so many materials? More than once Cloud had to dash out for a set of tires, or a bracket, and once he even ran back to Final Heaven for nails that didn't threaten tetanus with their very presence. But at last, from salvaged wood and found scrap, they cobbled together a rickety but servicable wagon. At least, it rolled without wobbling or listing too badly, and it would hold flowers. With a little bit of paint it might even be cute.

Zack looked at it and laughed. "Aerith would hate it."

"Well, beggars can't be choosers," Cloud grumbled, wiping his forehead with the back of one arm. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Dunno." Zack took a seat in one of the pews, apparently content to just look at the fruits of their labor. "Probably be a waste to just leave it here." He looked up at Cloud. "Think it'd survive a trip to the City of the Ancients?"

Cloud wondered what Cid would think of a request to transport a flower wagon. "We'll see if it survives a trip to Final Heaven first. With some flowers in it," he added.

"Of course," said Zack.

\-----

"I wish I had something to give you," said Zack, shouldering the pack they pressed upon him. It had rations, potions, tents, materia. A bundle of dried flowers.

"You've given us enough, really," said Cloud. A wagon of flowers sat on the porch with a sign that read, Take One.

"Be careful," said Tifa. She had a flower in her hair.

"Don't worry," said Zack, throwing them a grin and a wink. "After all, I _was_ First Class."

And with that, he strode out the door, into the gray morning light.


End file.
